The Overlooked Beauty of Limitations
By Shannon Hall

Perhaps you've never seen beauty in the limitations of yourself or others. It's not surprising. As a society, we've been taught that limitations are synonymous with weakness, something to be rooted out and overcome. In this spirit, we often find ourselves filling our lives with goals and tasks have little or no meaning to our souls, simply to prove a point or live up to the standards of others.

How many times have you forced yourself to do something, scraping and clawing to pass each milestone, only to realize that the resulting success was something you ultimately didn't want or need? The hard-won promotion takes your career in an unfulfilling direction; the relationship you struggled to secure soon feels confining. Sure, you proved you could do it, but did you really want to in the first place?

When the self-help and popular psychology movement began promoting the idea of unlimited potential around the 60's and 70's, it was a breath of fresh air. Having lived with severe cultural and personal limitations for centuries, we needed permission to pursue our dreams. Unfortunately, this life-affirming message itself became a limitation, a mantra used as a club whenever we came across something we couldn't achieve.

Sometimes it's true that the only thing holding us back is fear. Sometimes the challenges placed before us simply serve to harden our resolve, or to make us look for a better way. Other times, however, limitations are an opportunity to ask the hard questions that help us clarify our true goals and values. Limitations also serve as boundaries, keeping us focused on what is really important.

If you've ever played a game of any sort, you know that they are defined as much by the rules as the goal. Players mutually agree to abide by certain limitations, and this gives meaning to both victory and loss. If these didn't exist, a chess player could move his or her knight diagonally to checkmate the opponent's king, or a pawn could have free reign on the board. Eventually, there would be no reason to play at all. So how does this apply to our own limitations?

In life, our boundaries often serve to define our own personal playing field. As human beings, we are each born with a unique combination of talents, skills, and yes, shortcomings. Just as a machine is built to perform certain tasks and not others, we are made in much the same way. For example, you wouldn't expect a washing machine to cook a casserole, nor would you use a stove to mow the lawn. Instead, you would use each machine to do the tasks it was designed for, not wasting one minute lamenting the fact that your hair dryer can't process vegetables.

While we are much more complex than machines and play many roles during our lifetimes, we still must take our own psychological and physical make-up into account. What comes easily to one person may be exceedingly difficult for another. The physics major who revels in decoding the secrets of the universe through mathematics may find the language of poetry inscrutable. The talented composer might make a disastrous accountant or secretary. These types of limitations should be considered carefully whenever we encounter them.

The question is, how do we tell the difference between an honest limitation and a simple challenge? One caveat to remember is that labor without joy frequently bears bitter fruit. In other words, if the journey you must take in order to reach a goal is fraught with hardship, the end result may not be as sweet. That doesn't mean you won't run into obstacles following your true path, or even that you'll enjoy every aspect of the journey. It simply means that you need to take a good look at what truly fulfills you, and what you're willing to do in order achieve it. Ultimately our true potential is defined by ourselves.

Top of Page

The people in your dreams all reflect some aspect or quality of your self. When determining what quality the dream person is reflecting, ask yourself what three qualities you would choose to describe that person to somebody else. Sometimes this is hard to understand, especially when the person in your dream possesses qualities you do not like or approve of. Remember that the people in your dreams are magnifying a quality or characteristic of yourself. For instance, if the person in your dream is dishonest in real life, then this person is reflecting back to you an aspect of yourself that was being dishonest on the day before you had the dream. But remember, the dishonesty in the other person may be magnified ten times from what you were expressing. Through dreams, the subconscious magnifies the quality or aspect so you are sure to see it.

Sometimes it is difficult to identify those qualities within the Self because we are not as objective with ourselves as we are with others. When you are able to honestly identify those qualities within yourself, then you can make a conscious choice to change that behavior within yourself.

When your dream has people you do not recognize, your dream is saying that your actions are unconscious. In other words, you are unaware of how you were behaving on the day before the dream.

If you are male and you dream of other males, the men represent outer, conscious qualities of yourself. The same is true for women who dream of other women. The women in the dream are a reflection of outer, waking qualities that were being expressed the day before the dream.

When men dream of women, those women represent inner, subconscious qualities. Women dreaming of men also represent the inner, subconscious qualities. This is what is known in eastern philosophies as the Yin (female) and the Yang (male). Two parts to make a whole person.

When you dream of parents, grand parents, mentors, pastors, priests, teachers, employers, supervisors, whether current or past, alive or deceased, these people represent a very important dimension of the Self, the Superconscious Mind. Any person who has held a position of authority or respect in your life will be reflecting the deepest, wisest part of the Self. The Superconscious Mind holds your divine plan or your spiritual blueprint.

When you have dreams of famous people who you have never met before, your subconscious is bringing your attention to a very accomplished aspect of your Self. Again, sometimes this is difficult to see, especially when the dream is of famous artists, singers, or actors. When you have these people show up in your dreams, you can be assured that you were exhibiting some very creative aspect of your Self just prior to the dream.

There will be times, though it is rare, when your dreams of other people actually represent something about that person. More times than not however, these people in your dreams are a reflection of some aspect of you. Your challenge is to identify that quality in your Self, and determine if it is a quality you desire to keep and nurture, or if it is a quality you would like to change.

Be sure to check out my new Dream Journal w/400 Symbols now available on our website. Go to products page.

  Top of Page

The price our children pay in the future may not be worth the short term benefits of the plethora of drugs that have come on the market over the past decade. Along with the McDonald's fast-food mentality, more and more parents are resorting to pill-popping as quick fixes for their child's behavioral concerns. True enough, today's kids have to deal with concerns that were not prevalent ten years ago. Yet, is popping a pill the healthiest message to send to our youth in lieu of coping strategies? What message does it send to our children that at a designated hour of each school day, they are to line up and be administered pills served from little white paper cups. In the past, all it took was a certain brand of designer jeans that made you part of the "in crowd." I fear that we may be sending a different message to kids today who want to be part of the "in-crowd," a message that to belong to this elite group, you too need this medication. Of course, the opposite could also be occurring, wherein standing in line to receive your pill could send a different message, a subliminal message that "there is something wrong with me that has to be fixed." That thought then triggers the associated thought of "I don't have the power within myself to control my actions or behaviors and therefore I must look outside myself for answers." How does the acceptance of drugs in the classroom conflict with its polar opposite "Just say no to drugs?" Are we not condoning that it's okay to take drugs in school with your peers, but don't take them on the street with your peers . . . Are we sending conflicting messages to the young minds who will one day run this country?

Take Lexapro for example, an anti-depressant and anti-anxiety drug for children. The perfect answer for anxiety all right, provided you're willing to overlook the fact that it does its work by artificially manipulating the very brain chemicals responsible for feeling and thought. It doesn't just alter anxiety and mood, but it alters all thoughts and emotions. So not only anxiety and depression are suppressed, but also joy, compassion, and enthusiasm. Lexapro suppresses all emotions, not just the "undesirable" ones, much like chemotherapy kills many fast-growing cells in the body, not just the cancerous cells. Do we really want our kids to walk around like the Stepford children, totally benign of precious emotions such as love and passion? How on earth can we expect our youth to save the world if they walk around with flat-lined emotions? Just who said that the human experience should not include painful feelings? To quote Descartes, "I feel, therefore I am." If children don't experience a variety of emotions, how can they ever discriminate pain or pleasure, how can they assert their individuality?

Adderal is said to be the perfect answer for ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder),that is if you ignore the fact that it's a stimulant like Dexedrine, a form of speed. You must also turn a blind eye to its severe side effects like extreme weight loss and sleeplessness. But then, we can also control those side effects with yet another fix, like Prozac which is now being prescribed for weight control and insomnia in adolescents. Take another pill to control the side-effect from the first pill, just how rational is that? Who profits here but the pharmacologists?

Both Adderala and Lexapro drugs are being prescribed with great frequency to children. Taken that the average one-to-one visit with a physician is five minutes, it makes doctors' lives easier and more efficient if they can write out a prescription and go on to the next patient. Perhaps that five minutes would be better spent listening to kids talk about what is really bothering them.

Seriously, are children today really that much more dysfunctional than they were twenty years ago? Or do we just have more psychiatrists inventing more and more "disorders" and "syndromes" that need treatment, thus stimulating the pharmaceutical companies to action. Between 1987 and 1996, use of anti-depressants among children and teens increased three-fold, and it continues to climb. Zoloft, Paxil, Effexor, Depakote, Zuprexa, and Lithium are the most common anti-depressant drugs for adults. They all carry a heavy list of side effects, from nausea, drowsiness, insomnia, constipation, severe headaches, weight gain, loss of appetite, and trembling. While approved for adults, they lack the necessary testing for children yet they are increasing prescribed for them. Psycho-pharmacologists themselves will tell you that children do not metabolize medications the same way that adults do. The FDA (Food & Drug Administration) doesn't require long-term studies on these drugs that follow patients over decades. The testing requires only 6-8 weeks, so there is no way we could possibly know the long-term effects of these drugs.

One of the greatest questions still goes unanswered - how do these psychotropic drugs affect young brains that are still developing? Currently, brain scientists know that the frontal lobes which manage feeling and thought, don't fully mature until age 30. What worries Dr. Stephen Hinshaw, chairman of psychology at University of California at Berkeley, is that by medicating a child's brain, we could be destroying the brain chemistry needed later to develop higher reasoning skills. At what price do we continue to experiment with children as if they are lab rats?

Child psychologists point out non-pharmaceutical treatments can often reduce or completely eliminate the need for drugs that are frequently being prescribed today. Anxiety disorders such as phobias can respond well to behavioral and cognitive therapies, helping kids to reframe in their mind certain anxiety producing events. Progressive therapists who teach children guided imagery, relaxation techniques, and positive thinking, are finding great improvements with their clients. These therapies not only provide relief for their particular syndrome, but they also give the child self-empowering techniques that promote confidence and self-esteem.

Suppose you are a parent of a highly sensitive child who is exceptionally gifted and talented yet hyper, who has incredible amounts of energy, resists authority, who bores easily and has a short attention span. Your child has just been diagnosed with ADD or ADDHD, and you are contemplating a new, yet un-tested drug. This drug will control and suppress his/her impulsive and eccentric behavior, but it's side-effect is that it will also suppress his/her creativity. Also suppose that you are able to project into the probable future of your child, and can foresee that he would be responsible for taking Einstein's theories to the next evolution, or that he might be one to find the cure for cancer in 2032. Would you re-think whether you wanted your child to be the guinea pig for this untested drug? Would you want to be the one responsible for suppressing a future Einstein or Bill Gates of tomorrow?

If your child is like the one mentioned above and has been labeled "hyper-active," "disruptive," or a "troublemaker," you may have an "Indigo Child." In actuality, your child is highly evolved and requires special attention not special drugs. In the next issue of MPower for Life's articles, read more about how to recognize and work with an "Indigo Child."

Reference: Time Magazine, Nov. 3, 200, Cover Story "Are We Giving Kids Too Many Drugs?"

 Top of Page

From the Mind of a Child
By Corinne Johnson

As a facilitator of Mind, Body & Spirit programs at MPower, I love to use many of the guided imageries and meditations with my own two small children. We share many moments talking about our Mind, Body and Spirit. The following two stories were so cute I wanted to share them with you:

One evening I was taking my 9-year-old daughter, Carley, through the guided imagery for releasing anxiety. I talked her through the motion of putting whatever it was that was bothering her on a raft and sending it down the river. After we were finished with the guided imagery, I asked her how it went and if she would like to talk about it. She replied "Mommy, you are going to really be mad at me". I assured her that I would not be mad at her. With that she said "Well Mommy, I put my little sister on the raft and sent her down the river!" How hilarious! But, you know, she and her sister had been fighting that day, and I guess she had a lot to release!!!

Another story is one from our 6-year-old daughter, Kelsey. One day we were all driving to the State Fair. Carley and Kelsey were in the back of the car, fighting and really acting up. I tried to talk to both girls about their behavior and tell them that they should calm down, take a few deep breaths and relax. Kelsey replied to me "Mommy, I am really mad right now and your Mind, Body & Sprit stuff is NOT going to help me!!!"……My husband and I could not hold back, we burst into laughter… followed by laughter from both girls. Precious!!

  Top of Page

Abundance
By Betty Terrell

What does Abundance mean to you? Do you crave abundance in every area of your life? Do you spend your mental energy seeing the glass half full or half empty? Have you made a New Year's resolution to have more "abundance" in your life? Maybe . . . just maybe the problem is your attitude.

1. Who are you comparing your abundance to? Let's start with your definition of abundance. Webster's dictionary defines abundance as "an ample or overflowing quantity." Are you comparing your abundance to Oprah Winfrey or to the millions of needy people in Africa? I would venture to say that, in reality, all the people reading this article have an ample or even overflowing quantity of all the necessities of life. The feeling of lack comes only when we start to compare ourselves to the small percentage of the population of the world who are overabundant. We see these people on TV, in magazines, and other media. They are the movie stars, the sports stars, and other famous people. Media bombards us with the feeling that if we are not living like the wealthy we somehow are not abundant. It is not wrong to want more, but when we get so focused on what we don't have, we begin to block the flow of abundance into our lives. The key to living an abundant life is greatly in our attitude. We have all heard the saying, "have an Attitude of Gratitude." When you adopt this attitude as your own personal motto, you will truly create magic in your life.

Recently I watched an Oprah Winfrey special about her foundation who helps orphaned children in Africa. The interviewer asked Oprah why she doesn't help the children here in America. Oprah's reply was that America is such a privileged nation, even in the worst conditions children here still have hope and opportunity to receive help. Over one million orphaned children in Africa have no assistance from anyone. They have no hope for a better future. So when I am feeling sorry for myself, I think of Oprah's program and those children… and I acknowledge that I DO have hope for the future, and that I AM LIVING AN ABUNDANT LIFE!!!

2. Acknowledge what abundance already exists in your life. In order to have more abundance the most important step is to notice, acknowledge, and appreciate what is already there. When I start feeling worry, stress, anxiety or any of the other emotions that go along with the sense of lack, I stop and make myself focus on the good in my life. If we look at things realistically there is probably 90% good and only about 10% not so good.

3. You attract what you give attention to. This is a universal truth, and one of the main truths we teach at MPower for Life. So, doesn't it simply make sense that if you want abundance in any area of life you must start by giving positive appreciation to the good that is already there? It's miraculous how positive, loving appreciation can change some of the most difficult circumstances. If you want more love…be more loving. If you want more prosperity, acknowledge the current prosperity in your life and find ways to share that where directed. Remember, "…give and it shall be given unto you…".

4. Identify who taught you the attitudes that are counter-productive to abundance. As a child I was taught and modeled in life that there was never enough. My father instilled in me the feeling that the glass was always half empty, and to always look at life through critical eyes. But as an adult I choose everyday NOT to be controlled by my father's negative attitudes. This choice takes effort and willpower each and every day. In order to overcome that mental conditioning in my life I consciously choose to focus on the abundance and positive in my life. We must daily make a choice to look at the people we love, our circumstances, our lifestyle, our work, and most of all ourselves with appreciation and gratitude. Only then can we see that our glass is always half full. Then take it a step further and proclaim that the container is such a beautiful glass. Forsake the attitudes that were taught to you and commit to an attitude of seeing your life and universe as inherently abundant.

5. Find little ways to practice your new attitude of abundance. How you look at things will determine what you will experience. We live in such a prosperous nation and universe. When was the last time you stopped to be thankful for just those things? One of the ways I use to continue overcoming my childhood conditioning is to play a little game with myself. Every time I find a coin I thank God/Creation for "the abundant love" and "loving abundance" in my life. Depending on the denomination of the coin is how many times I repeat the thankful saying. I've noticed a funny thing over the past few years I've practiced this ritual. Amazingly, I am finding more coins and larger denominations. It used to be mostly pennies, now just this past week, I found four quarters and a nickel, all at one time. I said thank you ALOT that day…105 times to be exact.

No matter what area of your life you feel you need more abundance, start right now by being thankful for the abundance that is already there. Make a list of your current abundance and read it every day. At the end of each new day, journal three things that you were grateful for. Sometimes it may be difficult to look past what went wrong in your life to discover the good, but with practice you will find it. We have all heard it takes at least 30 days to change a habit. So, commit yourself for the next 30 days to view your world through the eyes of gratitude. Make it your New Years resolution to appreciate and acknowledge the abundance already in your life each and every day. Go home and talk about what good happened today. Find ways to tell the people you love why you love and appreciate them. When you spend money or pay bills, thank God/Creation for the abundance in your finances. Condition yourself to always see your glass as half full, and remember to be thankful for the glass. The end result will be a more abundant and prosperous 2006.

  Top of Page

*****************************************